crappy camping

Ryan and I have had some bad luck with camping. We've been attacked by rainstorms, slept on an air mattress that had a leak and left us with our bums on the ground, had our tent cave in on us in the middle of the night and been forced to bail out the roof of the tent in pajamas and boots, cursing, in the middle of the night, and those weren't even the worst stories.

No, the worst camping trip was our one and only attempt in Japan. We felt adventurous one day and decided to pack up some camping gear and go forge through the forest (the very forest aforementioned in which we met a rather stinky monkey). We drove through the countryside to an area we had been a number of times, with tall sweeping jungled mountains jutting steeply into the river below. We started out on the "buggy" trail (there were a lot of insects in the country in Japan) with a vague idea of where we were going to forge off into the woods. We knew that the river became quieter at a certain point, and so upon reaching our desired point in the trail, we started beating the bushes away and worked our way downwards until we came to a rather steep drop off. We were about 20 feet above the river level and the cliff appeared to be made of loose rocks. We decided to just climb on down, throwing our bags down before us, and we made it relatively painlessly.

It was about this time that we noticed that the insects flying around us were getting a little more persistent, but we batted them away and walked the last few steps to the river's edge. It was gorgeous! The river glistened as it twisted through the narrow ravine and flowed by our sandaled feet. Sun filtered through the trees above, and a small waterfall poured down on the opposite side. We spotted a nice looking spot across the river and down a little bit, so we headed out into the water and crossed with little difficulty - the water hardly came up to our waists. By now, though, we had noticed that the insects weren't just any insects, but some kind of bees. They were all around us, though not really swarming, just flying here and there.

We set up our tent, and our tarp, and our bedding, and all the other camping necessities. It was a beautiful sunny day, and all looked well for our camping trip. Then suddenly, thunder boomed above us. Yes, just as if someone had pushed the "storm" button, it clouded over and started thundering and pouring. We sat at the entrance to the tent under the tarp, flabbergasted and in awe, but not discouraged. What was a little rain anyway!? Then we noticed that the bees had also found refuge in our little domain. Yes, the bright blue tarp seemed to be an attraction to them. They clung to it in tens, and twenties, and no matter what we did - mosquito coils, swatting, shaking the tarp - they wouldn't leave us alone. I started to get really agitated.

And then the mother bee came along. I don't know where the heck the thing came from, but it was enormous. It must have been the size of a loonie, and it seemed to want a piece of us. It came zooming by our heads, nearly sending us diving into the tent, then came back for a second and third go. We tried swatting her away, but to no avail. Then we decided that since bees don't like water, we'd jump into the river. It was cold, let me tell you, but we did it. Up to our waists we were, and there she was, zooming right for us, unrelentless! We splashed and waved water everywhere! She didn't give up! Around and around she circled, dove, attacked! We splashed and splashed some more, dove under the water, and kept our eyes peeled for her next trick! I think we finally got boring to her or something, because she eventually just flew off.

But we had had it. It was pouring rain; we were soaked; our camping spot was infested with bees; and we were just plain pissed off. We looked at each other, nodded, packed up our stuff and headed across the river, which nearly took one of Ryan's sandals with it. We were chased back up that cliff by those bees, closely missing a huge rock that pummelled down it, ran back through the bushes, scampered back up the trail, soggy and defeated, and jumped into our car where there were no bugs, and no downpours, but a whole lot of soaking wet clothes and mud.

We looked at each other, and burst out laughing. It was the worst camping trip we had ever been on, but it was hilarious. We laughed all the way home to our little apartment where our comfy futons awaited. What a day, what a day.