swooning like a damsel

I am tired right now. My legs are aching, my head is too, and I'm slumped rather crookedly on a couch typing away. Ti-yerd. Yes.

I DID do some heavy lifting yesterday. I was one of four people (actually the only girl, and I felt quite buff and proud by the end of it all) who moved a piano out of a room, down a flight of stairs, and onto the back of a pickup. That may be why my legs are so sore!! :D

BUT, it's the headache that has been bothering me so much. It's actually been lingering around for a while. It is the latest in a series of strange things that have been happening to my body since this stressful summer happened. Stressful, you ask? What has been stressful? Well, let me elaborate.

We moved. Ryan got in a car accident. Plava's preschool closed. Ryan's neck got very sore and started going to the physio and doctor's appointments. I searched for a "plan b" for preschool this fall. The car was a writeoff. I started a second part-time job. I decided that I'd "homeschool" Plava this year, teaching her to read from a book I bought. We bought a van, and a week later, got the lamest, hugest flat tire I've ever seen, and needed to purchase a brand new, very expensive tire. The new job got quite stressful. At a visit to a coffee shop, Pito tripped and pulled a steaming americano onto herself, resulting in 2nd degree burns on her hand and abdomen. We discovered that big sister, Plava, doesn't do so well in hospitals when her sister's gross, gory hand is exposed. Many visits to the hospital later, we were referred to a plastic surgeon. Thankfully, he was the loveliest doctor I've ever met and only had good news to bear (i.e. she doesn't need skin grafting).

Amidst all this, and I'm very much hoping (and thinking) that it's actually a result of it all, I have been feeling faint and having many, MANY, near-fainting episodes. Along with this, I have tingly limbs and am getting some annoying headaches. Intersperced in this time were days and weeks when I didn't feel comfortable driving because of this condition and so I found myself stuck at home, with things to do, not able to get out and do them.

So, yeah. It's been a stressful time. I'm hoping that things calm down soon. After a handful of visits to my family doctor (I'm persistent, at least!) and some tests coming back negative, I have now been referred to a neurologist, which sounds really big and dramatic, but is really just the next step in testing and potential discovery of just what is up with my body. The more I think of it though, the more I think it's actually anxiety-induced.

I was driving the van today, with the girls, (and driving is when I feel it the most) and accidentally did something funky with the accelerator, causing the van to stall in the middle of the highway. I pulled over and put on my blinkers, and was quite anxious about it all as I restarted the thing, and as I pulled out and got back onto the road, I found myself having to breathe through the feeling of fainting. It spoke loudly to me of how much anxiety is actually causing it, and possibly is actually THE cause of it all.

What a pain in the neck though!! Man, I just want to feel normal again!! So, I know it's not the most exciting thing to read, but it's the picture of my days recently, and I'd love for y'all to be thinking of me.

Tomorrow should be an exciting day, and I'm really looking forward to it. On a whim today, and after Plava told me outright that she wishes she was going to preschool, I called up one that I knew was close to our house, expecting it to be full and waitlisted like so many are around here. To my surprise, they have a few spaces left!! So tomorrow morning we're going to check the place out, and if it seems good, we may just put her in there!! I will, of course, keep going on the book I'm taking her through myself, which has been so fun and is going so well, by the way, but it will be so nice for her if she just loves preschool and has fun there. Here's to hoping.

Also, tomorrow is Plava's first ballet class. It's just a small rec centre one, so I'm hoping it's less intimidating that the one I put her in last year with 20 odd kids dancing around in their fairy costumes. :) Here's to hoping again!!!

Well, I'm feeling better already. Tomorrow is going to be a good day. Yes.